Life is falling apart

Hey all I am sorry that I haven't been blogging but things have been falling apart. I am having trouble with depression and suicidal thoughts. I know, that is bad but I don't care. Anyways I am not going to church at this moment and I am ok with that. Lately I don't care. My perseption is that you go to church and your in the fantasy but then you go home and you go back to reality. I don't think I can live like that.

I am on all this medication and smoking but I don't think I will change all my morals but I dont think church is for me.

Ladies Retreat in Appleton

This weekend was great. The speakers were Sister Harding and Sister Sisco ( might be wrong on spelling). Sis. Harding taught us Don't Fret but Trust. I really had to hear that because I don't know what I am going to do next school year. She also sang for us. I got one song by her and I loved it. Anyways Sister S. taught us how to win souls for Jesus. I know it sounds bad but that is what everyone does. Other than the speakers I loved the conference.

Please pray for me because I have a bad cold.

I must be a failure.

Today I meet with my instructors for school and they suggest that I switch majors at school because I were having problems with my clinicals. I was told that I don't have interpersonal skill and I don't think that is true. So I did all that work for nothing practically. I was really mad. I also feel like a failure.

Anyway I will be leaving for Appleton for Ladies Retreat. I guess I need to get out of here. I have so much anxiety and I guess stress can happen to everyone. Anyways I will try to blog through out the Retreat if possible.

Children Holy Ghost Crusade and some

The Thorp puppet ministry came to our church for the Children Holy Ghost Crusade. It was a great hit with many puppets. There were puppets that glow in the dark, sing, and dance. One puppet came out on a pink flamingo. It was so funny. The music was great and I think the kids got a lot out of it.

For our pet thing the Buddy died. My parents put him to sleep and the puppy is getting big. If anyone doesn't know we have a dog called Wilbur. He is a bull dog.
He is soooo cute. Holding him is my friend Issac.

We will be moving away from my precious La Crescent to somewhere else. But home is where my family is so where ever my family goes I do too. When I die I will go home to Jesus but now I have to live here. Anyways I will be done with the semester and I will be going to camp this summer. I can't wait.

Before and After Easter

Hey since my last bloggie I had a lot of changes in our lives. First of all my dad bought a new puppy. He is an english bulldog. He is all white and he looks like a piglet so we called him Wilbur. You know after Charolette's Web. He is so cute. Larry our other dog is so jealous that he attacks Wilbur if he is in the way. New meat.

Talking about pets, our cat Buddy who is 15 yrs old in cat years is dying. Sad but true. Anyways he has been weird for the past few days my mom says.

Easter went good for some. Some one got the Holy Ghost and I got to see it. I played Sunday morning and then went to the Eastman's for dinner. I was sick the night before so I stayed there during church and rested.

I have something wrong with my digestive system but, now I am better.

Anyways that is my update.

Oh Happy Day!

Angie Johnson is mad at me!

Hey it is me Emily. My sister Angie is soo mad at me because I told her that I didn't like her lifestyle and I didn't know her anymore. I know I shouldn't of judged her but, I did tell her how I felt.

Here is what she thinks of me right now:

Emily,
I didn't appreciate your last comment. First and foremost... I have never made comments to you about your lifestyle. I do not agree how you live your life but I try to support you. Second... what is you're problem?!? If you have an issue as to how I'm living my life why on earth would you post a comment about it... message me or something. Use some manners. Putting someone on blast for all to see is just rude. If you are worried as to how your friend see me, you needn't worry. My profile has been set to private for some time now. You are also no longer on my list of friends so message me if you will but I guess you'll have to find out about my putrid life by actually talking to me. What a concept! Anyways, if you knew me you'd realize that some of my profile is for shock value... plus you need to realize my sense of humor and yours is on different wave lengths. BTW... your attitude of judgement is a specific reason why non christians have a hard time seeing the love of Jesus.

-Angie

Anyways I wasnt judging her because I am just saying what is in my heart and I am concerned for her I didn't mean to offend her at all. Also I shouldn't said what I said on myspace.com.

Oh well!

Onalaska Youth Connection 2008

This years YC was the bomb. It was last night and I had a blast. I only remember on line from the speaker and he said "RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!" Because they keep you safe. Also the music was great and I didn't see anyone recieve the Holy Ghost but I know at least someone was touched and felt God's presense. I know this guy who has a Mental illness and he came in a couple times and I think God is getting to him. He is soaking God in. I can feel it. I know Jesus will heal him in Jesus Name.

After the service we went to the YMCA and pizza I hung out with Clarissa and we had a little experiment with the garlic sauce. It was so great.

Anyways I was just catching up...