Becoming Full-filled

When I was growing up I was raised in a "Christian" home. As I review my life I always had it laid out for me. I always went to the same church, but I didn't get anything out of it. I didn't want to worship God or want to pray. First Free, the church I went to didn't have the answers. I always felt uncomfortable. It had an atmosphere of the majority of the people that were not living Biblically. It had three services, and so if people wanted to pray, they couldn't be in the sanctuary because another group of people were coming in.
When I talked to my friend Pauline about this issue, she invited me to the church that she went to. She said that she went to Apostolic Life Church. Pauline and I were friends for a couple years and I knew I could trust her; but I was kind of skeptical because the congregation spoke in tongues. Tongues are a type of speech that people use for praise and prayer. Some people raise their hands and give shouts as well. I made a decision that I would go to church with Pauline.
As I walked into the sanctuary I started to freeze up. I went into a small church building surrounded by familiar faces. I just wanted to walk out of there. Instead, I slowly entered the small sanctuary walking down the center aisle. Thinking about everyone being energetic and talking weird made me want to just turn around and run. When the worship band started to play a song, music started to fill the room. Pauline liked to sit near the front on the left side, so we sat on the third row and she stayed standing and I just sat there and observed. The worship band did the opening song. It was a song that I didn't know at all. After the song was done, the pastor of the church came up in the pulpit and put a prayer list on the overhead. I saw all these names of people who were lost and sick. I saw the congregation stand and started praying for all these people. I just wanted to laugh out loud, but I didn't want to be rude. I just sat there on the pew.
The worship played more songs. I knew some of the songs because the other church I went to played the same songs. Before going to the church that I go to now I went to an Evangelical Free church and they were not so intense on prayer and praise. Even though the songs were familiar, I didn't sing them but I stood up anyway because I wanted to be respectful. I knew something spiritual was there because I didn't feel comfortable and usually when there is something good there and you did wrong it felt uncomfortable. I felt like people were looking at me. It was just in my head. I wanted to sing but I didn't want people to think I was having a good time. I used to sing and worship, but I lost my faith because I had a lot of trials, and I was living my way and not God's. I just acted like I was bored and I looked at the other people in the other pews. I was watching them praise God, and they made it look easy. I started to cry. I got up and ran to the bathroom to hide my tears.
When I got out of the bathroom, I went back to where I was sitting. The Pastor just got finished with the announcements and he welcomed me back to the service because I have been there before with Pauline. Then he started the message. It was a great message. It made me think about my life and how I want to live it. Do I want to live in sin and go to Hell or still live in sin but go to Heaven with my friend? As the pastor concluded, he told the congregation to come to the front and pray. I didn't. I stayed right where I was sitting because I was a stubborn person and I was scared. So I just sat there and felt guilty at my seat. Then I started to pray for my repentance.
Pastor Boyd, the pastor of the church, saw me and came over to me and put his hand on his head and said that I was going to receive the Holy Ghost that night. It was something I wanted for weeks. Many of my friends and family had been talking about it. I didn't really know what it was until someone explained it to me. I was told that it was God working with humans through spirit. I said ok, but I still didn't know what I was going to do or say. He told me to start praising God. I put my hands up towards the sky and waited for his instructions. He told me to thank the Lord and say Hallelujah. Pauline was there to pray with me and so were some other women in the church. It started to get a little warm, and little beads of sweat started to drip from my forehead. People in the church were looking at me, but I didn't care if there were other people looking at me. The other people were speaking in tongues and all of a sudden some other language was coming out of my mouth and I started to utter. The definition of tongues is that it is another language that God gives people the ability to speak. People say it is the language before the Tower of Babel. I looked like I was having a seizure or I was shivering. I was speaking in tongues. I don't know how long I was speaking like that.
After the service Pastor Boyd asked me how I felt. I told him that I felt really good. He said now I had to get baptized in Jesus' Name. Acts 2:38 says that you are supposed to repent and be baptized in Jesus' Name. I told him that I would think about it. I didn't understand that I had to because I was baptized in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Then I found out that it wasn't the same. I had a Bible study with my friend Jeri Jo and she made it clear that I needed to be baptized in Jesus' Name because it was in the Bible and I knew that Bible was not wrong. So I got baptized in Jesus' Name a month later.
I never went back to the First Free again. I got more involved with the church. I am now in the music ministry singing and soon I will be playing the piano. As I look back on all this I knew I made the right decision. I made many friends and I found answers at the Apostolic Life Church rather than First Free. Since I had been going to Apostolic Life Church I haven't missed a service. I enjoy the services and I will never go back to the past that I overcame.